Hello here is my poem and my cringey reading of it. I used a really similar format in my last poem but I really enjoy its simplicity and playing around with the wording. To me, the poem is all over the place and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing so pls let me know what you think :) any suggestions are welcome though, I know it could be better but I can't really tell what it needs.
ps miss you guys
I really love the nostalgia this poem has. It feels like an indie movie. You said you felt the poem was all over the place, but I think it works for it. It does make the poem feel a bit like flipping through a photo album and some of the pictures don't have explanations, but it still works for it I think. There are two things I would like to see a bit more of, I want to see more feelings and thoughts in the poem, to make it a bit more personal. I would also like to see a little bit more from the last couple lines. They felt very important to the poem and I think it could be good if you introduced it earlier on in the poem and then came back to it again in the end. Overall I really loved this poem though!! Miss you Gabby!!