Hello Joelle,

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. I love the directness and very vivid imagery you provided throughout the piece. Even though your writing is very unique to your own experience, I was able to apply it to my own life. That was something I really loved. I'd love to see if you implemented more senses throughout the poem. Touch, smell, taste, sight, noise... I think it would heighten what is already so beautiful. Good job!

Hi Joelle!

I really like that this poem seems to have a clear addressee. The first stanza is especially full of specific and unique details about that person or the relationship between that person and the speaker. I think I start to lose sight of that in the other two stanzas. You might try some indirection here--some stranger craving or cravings that don't have to do with the lover necessarily. Or instead of three stanzas about craving, maybe the second and third could use a different verb like, laughing or melting. The line breaks might be tweaked a little. Here, each line is sort of a complete image. You might split those up a little to create some slippage, like:

patterns you rub onto the bottom

of my spine, you hold me. I crave,

long winded conversations... Nice work!

Hi Joelle,

I liked your use of image in the poem. There was a nice mix between the exterior world and interior. Such as visual details that you described like the rubbing on your spine compared with craving their love and passion. The emotion of the poet is seen with the poem expressing missing someone. The poet is directing this poem to the person they are describing by using "your".

Joelle,

This is such a beautiful poem; it brings out strong emotions for people who have felt intense care and connection with someone they love. I think your poem is strongest in rhetoric, imagery, and music. I felt that you were trying to explain to someone why you feel so connected to them and what you crave from them because of this love and connection you feel. Using imagery, you strengthened this rhetoric, showing the reader what you felt and when you felt it. For example, "The callouses of your/ palm pressed hard against mine." In this particular couple of lines, you can feel this intensity and it feels like you are sharing this intimate moment that builds on your "craving" for this person. I also think that the flow of your poem works really well, it's slow and thought through, I didn't find anything that disrupted that. Going forward, I would agree with Arielle, this could be a great piece of a longer poem that builds on your ability to show us your feelings and not just tell them.

hi joelle! the imagery within this poem is so strong, it paints a picture as I read it. it's very soft but full of emotion. i really loved the descriptions you used and you should definitely explore with adding more detail within the poem, i feel like it would add to the overall story. great poem!