Hi Taylor! I like how you use this extended metaphor without it becoming too cheesy. You put an interesting angle on it, and I think that makes it work.

As for lines, honestly the first one through me off a bit. The rest of the poem seems to be about baking/cooking or making a recipe. But the first line sets me up to think its going to be about feeding and nurturing. I might start with a line about a recipe or something, and maybe tasting instead of spoon feeding.

I love the last line! I think I would like to see what IS in the addressee's vocabulary, too, though--maybe earlier in the poem--because that's the title. Nice work!

Thank you for sharing such a bittersweet poem with us! I enjoyed the energy that radiated throughout the poem. The story is strong. I assume it covers the topic of the someone trying to mold themselves into the person the other wants them to be. You do great in illustrating this story, pairing it up with the illusion of " the perfect recipe."

On the other hand, I understand what you are trying to say. I feel like you focus more on trying to sell us this character and forget the style you were trying to use. I loved the way you brought in this "perfect recipe" approach but you didn't keep it going. Overall, I loved it thank you for sharing this with us.

Howdy, Taylor. Hope you're well.

Your poem was strongest in terms of rhetoric, image, and emotion. I think you've been very smart with your word choices here. Drawing this comparison to confection - something that's sweetened, molded by hands, and finally eaten - is, I think, the reason why your poem has power. That single idea carries the poem everywhere from the vivacity of the images to the strength of feeling behind it. Super smart decision-making there.

Per your feedback, I think the weakest areas of the poem are the places it strays from image to put things more plainly. Remember what we've learned about indirection. I think "Desperate to meet them" and "I am the shape of the woman / That brings you the most joy." are unnecessary because you do such a good job of implying those ideas elsewhere in the first stanza. On the other hand, "Change is not a flavor in your vocabulary / But you ought to make it one" is so central to the ethos of the poem that I think it needs to stay, in some form or another.

This poem when reading it was very potent to me, that the best way that I can describe it lol. The emotion was so resounding, it seems to me to be a mixture of bitterness and deep sadness. The imagery surrounding it all though is so beautiful, the baking trope that is carried throughout kind of stands so stark in contrast with the actual content of the speaker, it works to kinda convey this unsettling feeling.

Hi Taylor,

Wow, I loved your poem. I said 'mic drop' aloud after that ending. The baking allusion paired with the struggles of change in this relationship, work so well I was blown away, and it stirred something in me. The only thing I'd say is maybe you don't need three separate lines saying you change your body for them, but then again, the poem is about that so it still works fine. Maybe if you trimmed it a little. Otherwise, it's a fantastic poem and I really enjoyed it!

Taylor! I love this poem! The imagery feels so tangible and I love how you portray the emotion throughout the poem without being direct about it. The last line of both stanzas are very impactful and really made me feel connected to this poem. My favorite line was the one with powdered sugar like glitter, so cool! I think if anything, the first half of the second stanza could flow better, especially "of independence." Other than that, I would be interested to see what happens when you play around with the spacing of the lines, maybe broken up a little. I think little pauses could help everything flow better. As it is, I read the poem quickly and it gave me a slightly anxious or panic feeling. Maybe that was intentional, but the last line feels so empowered and sure of itself that I would love to see the rest of the poem be a more confident reflection on the past. maybe just a slower pace towards the end. Just a suggestion. Great job!

Hey Taylor,

I really loved this poem. I liked how you used the allusion to baking for how the girl changed herself to be what the other person wanted her to be. One line that I though didn't fit in very well was "bake at 350 for 35 minutes". The baking allusion is present enough in the poem and works without that line. It also had a different flow to it than the rest of the poem. The poem has a lot of underlying emotion to it that is not explicitly said, which I liked. The girl is desperate to please this other person but is disappointed that she's still not enough. I think the last line was really powerful, she is realizing that it is not her that needs to change but the other person. This is really a great poem, good job!!

Hey Taylor! This poem is very vivid and I love how your language was able to inspire such specific images in my mind. I think the lines "I am the shape of the woman / that brings you the most joy" are particularly powerful because they convey the pain it can cause when you try to change yourself for someone. As far as critiques go, I feel like the story / narrative isn't as strong here and some of the lines are very repetitive. By the end of the poem I'm not quite sure how where I ended is different from where I began. I would love to see more of a progression in your relationship with this person. Great job!