You may be struggling with Lorde's use of the term women-identified women. It can be difficult to understand, and in some ways is very complex, but also central in understanding intersectionality.
These resources might help:
From the GLBTQ Encyclopedia: http://www.glbtqarchive.com/ssh/woman_identified_woman_S.pdf
The Woman-Identified Woman: The "woman-identified woman" defined herself without reference to male-dominated societal structures. She gained her sense of identity not from the men she related to, but from her internal sense of self and from ideals of nurturing, community, and cooperation that she defined as female.
The love, sexuality, and energy of the woman-identified woman were focused on herself and other women, rather than on men or male institutions. In a society that despised and belittled women, many lesbian feminists felt that loving oneself and other women was the most radical act a woman could perform.
The original Woman Identified Woman manifesto : https://repository.duke.edu/dc/wlmpc/wlmms01011
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