https://soundcloud.com/jessi-martin-584857719/aint-no-thang
Ain't no thang
The training was a combination of sports specific and dazing the mind. Dumb
in a sense that noses are off center
Some have fun balancing on tree roots
Some kick bamboo until they are 90.
Stems from Samurais with open minds.
In a golf dome with nothing but terror
and a belly full of snickers. The guy wrapping my hands told me “it ain't no thang but
but a chicken wang on a strang. Wished he would stop talking.
Cage door locks. Are you ready? Are you ready? Nope.
And we’re off. The lights look weird at this angle. Oh, getting suplexed
Rotator cuff
Smelling the opponent boost’s adrenaline. There’s no
I’m sorry or allow me. Hold this.
Broken knuckle
Interesting how this prevents fights in parking
lots. Better than that. No better way to
test for counterfeit. One scope on each knee.
Make it out of this and life is going to be
a little bit easier.
Hi Jessi!
I was really drawn in by the strangeness in the opening stanzas. But then it became about something much more specific. I'm still not sure exactly what that specific venue is. I'd carry the strangeness throughout the poem, or give more details about what the narrative is in the poem--push it one way or the other. If I could make a suggestion, it would be to change scenes again after the cage locks. There's not a lot happening at the second half of the poem that can't be inferred from the first half. A new scene, like the tree root scene, could help move the poem along. Though I'd keep "test for counterfeit. One scope on each knee" and maybe even use it as the final line of the poem.
Nice work!