Hi everyone, my poem Grace is linked here. I've also included the text down below. I wanted to experiment with rhetoric a bit more, so I wrote this poem as if I was addressing my best friend, Grace. I also played around with music again and attempted indirection and some of that facing the lion stuff we read about. Let me know if I was successful or not. Love to hear what you've got to say!
GRACE
Emma Moody
We’ve been best friends since birth. Well, really since before birth,
Because our moms grew up in Houston together. Our moms were best friends first.
Your family took my mom in when she lost her mom to cancer,
And her dad decided he’d rather not carry that title anymore.
Your mom saved my mom all those years ago.
My mom tried to save your mom too. But I guess that’s not the way it goes.
Summer camp shenanigans always came too quick to an end.
Making plans to see each other again. Texas to Florida and back again.
Texting under the covers at night, giggling about cute boys.
In constant contact with each other. Post-it note countdowns till we could reunite.
Then in 2008 your family dissolved, and I felt bad for still having mine.
Tried to be there whenever I could, tried to give you my time.
I don’t really know where we stand now. Ever since your mom lost her mind.
Drained your family’s whole bank account and left you all behind.
I’m sorry that she did that to you and that you had to drop out of school.
But I’ve never seen anyone work harder than you do to make their life their own.
Three jobs and a nannying gig, photographing weddings on the side.
Struggling to find a salaried job because a bachelor’s degree is always on their mind.
If only they knew how smart you are. How creative, how funny, how kind.
I’d say “That’s my best friend Grace right there, head full of white curls and eyes blue as ice.”
Hi Emma!
Nice work facing a difficult topic. I think you are really headed somewhere with this poem. It functions really well as a poem to a specific person. But if this poem is for a larger audience, I think they need to see more of Grace and less of the situation behind it all. The final lines give your reader a glimpse of who she actually is and not just the circumstances she finds her self under. How would you present this person to the world in a poetic way? I think you are already doing that in the final line: "head full of white curls and eyes blue as ice." I think the whole poem could be strange and wonderful imagery about this person, maybe even jumping off with this final line being the opening line. Nice work!