Greetings all, although I often try to leave these poems up to interpretation I wanted to say that this poem focuses on migrant farmworkers. Currently through this COVID-19 situation, they are exposed to harsh conditions and little protection as they work to meet the current demand of produce in this country. In short, because most of these workers are undocumented or come from low income backgrounds, they lack the resources that should be available to protect them.
Here is a link to for information in regards to one group of heroes that are often left in the dark.
https://fortune.com/2020/04/03/farmworkers-coronavirus-essential-workers-covid-19-agriculture/
For this poem I am not looking for anything in particular. I hope that the story is clear but honestly this could be applied to any essential worker.
Additionally, I also stopped the use of using a single word in every other line. I felt like it does make help the poem flow smoother.
Are my phrases used well in the poem?
I am open to any suggestions.
Thank you beforehand and continue to spread awareness about the heroes in our communities.
Link to voice recording: https://soundcloud.com/diosili-dee-salazar/los-heroes-desconocidos
Hey, Diosili. I hope you're doing well.
I think the strongest "gate" in your poem is that of rhetoric. There are portions of this poem that are really arresting, and the reason they're so arresting is because of the specific words you've chosen. So if you're asking for phrases that are used well, I like:
"Why can't they just thank you?
Is it because they don't know your language?
Why do they vote to send you back home?
When your home is around the corner."
and
"Don't forget they yelled "mojado"
Behind your back."
In fact, these lines are so strong that they kind of draw attention to the weaknesses of the rest of the poem. I'd like to see more imagery and indirection in the poem. It's so direct, both in its address and intent, that I find myself yearning for a little bit more. I did think the sun/shadow imagery near the end was nice, so more material like that peppered in evenly throughout this poem and I think you'll be sitting pretty.