Hey, Diosili. I hope you're doing well.

I think the strongest "gate" in your poem is that of rhetoric. There are portions of this poem that are really arresting, and the reason they're so arresting is because of the specific words you've chosen. So if you're asking for phrases that are used well, I like:

"Why can't they just thank you?

Is it because they don't know your language?

Why do they vote to send you back home?

When your home is around the corner."

and

"Don't forget they yelled "mojado"

Behind your back."

In fact, these lines are so strong that they kind of draw attention to the weaknesses of the rest of the poem. I'd like to see more imagery and indirection in the poem. It's so direct, both in its address and intent, that I find myself yearning for a little bit more. I did think the sun/shadow imagery near the end was nice, so more material like that peppered in evenly throughout this poem and I think you'll be sitting pretty.

Diosili,

To begin with, I loved this poem. I think your voice and the reasoning behind this poem is very evident. As someone who has a parent who immigrated from outside of America, this poem speaks to me on a deeper level. I see the frustration and pain that has been built up causing you as a writer to feel this way. I think the quotations around essential and villain can be removed ... simply because I think reading those words are powerful enough without them.

I think this conflict between "essential" and "villains" gets a new angle via your poem. You are bringing something original to the conversation by creating a poem that addresses our migrant workers. I think the couplets really enhance that, so I might break the poem up into all two line stanzas.

I was really drawn in to the juxtaposition of the shadow and the sun touching skin. The sun touching skin is a very rich image for me. You might put in some more images like that throughout the poem. There's also a question-on-one-line-statement-on-the-next structure arising. I might press more into that. Instead of two questions in a row, "Why can't they just thank you..." and "Is it because..." I might change that second question into a statement like "they only know one language" or "their language doesn't have a word for gratitude" or something like that.

Nice work! With some fine tuning, I can see this poem having a powerful place in the world today.

Diosili, aside from this being a very moving and powerful poem, it is written beautifully. Each line had just enough emphasis on it to still allow certain lines to stand out and carry more weight to them. The rhetorical questions are strong and while to poem is addressed to the migrant workers, it still makes all the readers, regardless of their own background, contemplate the questions and what they mean for migrant workers. I admire you for using this opportunity to spread awareness for this issue. Amazing job!!

Diosili,

This poem is beautiful and the rhetoric was so incredibly strong. There are so many elements working in this poem. Your voice is incredibly strong, not too harsh, but confident in your position. I think it has the power to move anyone who hears this poem. People don't think about those they don't see every day, and so they don't think to thank these migrant farmworkers, but would they if they could? That is an interesting question that I see you asking people. Even with honest pain, I still felt strength in your words. There are also several rhetorical questions that I think further add to your powerful rhetoric. I think your choice to make each line count, and remove one-word lines, worked to your advantage and I can definitely tell a difference in your rhythm from your last poem. Overall, this feels very complete and I couldn't ask for more. In particular, I think the way you end a poem should stay with the reader, and you nailed that. As you said, this poem could apply to other essential workers, but I think the subtle usage of Spanish is an indirect way of telling us exactly who this poem is about.

Hey Diosili!

My heart was completely engaged while reading this. Your use of imagery was very good especially in the last stanza with the image of someone in the shadows and then all of a sudden the bright sun hits them. I got a sense of tension while reading through this poem. Took me into a different reality that was filled with pain and vulnerablity. This is a strong poem.

Hi Diosili! Wow this poem is definitely very powerful to say the least. I also appreciate you giving us more information on the backstory because I definitely didn't know that Florida especially has one of the largest populations of farm workers. The first two lines in the stanza stood out to me the most talking about you are deemed essential and that you now carry the weight pretty much on your shoulders. I thought this poem was very strong with detail and was definitely written in depth. I don't really have anything that I would ask for just because it was written so well, I would agree with Emma though maybe wish it was longer and maybe more people can find out about these issues! Great Job!!!!

Diosili, wow! This poem is so powerful. I appreciate you giving us the backstory since it often goes unacknowledged that Florida has one of the largest populations of migrant farmworkers. There are plenty of lines in here I find very powerful (nice job of "facing the lion"), but the entire last stanza really put it all in to perspective for me. Great job! As far as feedback goes, I don't have much to offer because I think this was written really well... I guess just that I wish it was longer, more in depth (but that's just a selfish want). Great job!